Hurricane Snippet with Emotional Beats

I’ve posted snippets from a hurricane scene a few times before (original, revised, in first and third person).  I’m using it rather as a practice ground.

Here’s a snippet with a few emotion beats added:

“Just a little rain,” she said sarcastically out loud.  “What an idiot!” Her voice echoed oddly, competing against the sounds of the beating rain in the otherwise empty vehicle.  “The idiot formerly known as my manager,” she added.

Again sudden reflux left a bitter taste in her mouth.  She swallowed it back, the acidity making her throat raw and sore.  She blinked her eyes clear of tears.  The road was barely visible in the blowing, pounding rain.

Her manager had seemed a decent enough guy when she had hired on last month, but in the last few hours her respect for him had plunged.

The car shuddered violently as a stronger gust slammed into it.  She winced and gripped the steering wheel tighter with whitened knuckles

So, here I’m trying for three different kinds of emotion beats: stated emotion, internal physical sensations, and physical actions.

Let me know what you think.

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